So the question is, do I continue with this project, or say it was a good run.
I really hope I get a good house tonight.
And I don't really know what to do with myself today! Things are truly winding down!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly... Baby
I wasn't too sure how a production blog goes after a show opens. "This good review made me feel good! This bad one made me feel bad!"
Or,
"This show was okay, this one I messed up a line..."
But perhaps I can use this as a place to respond to some of the questions that come up- from reviewers, or from people who watched the show. (I woke up to appreciative emails from strangers!)
"Over-Sharing": Even the EYE, which gave me a good review, used the term, saying the show "Makes over-sharing seem like a great idea." Can I just say... I left a lot of awkward details out! I realize what I put in is a bit-wow- but I was careful to make sure that it was integral to the story. I dunno- the question remains- do I have more garbage than the average person, or am I just over-willing to talk about some things? I don't know!
I think "sharing" is an issue with many disenfranchised people, and what causes a lot of social awkwardness- a vicious cycle. The people who come to my show know what they're in for, and also are free to walk away loving it or hating it.
But for someone in the thick of it, it's socially difficult to communicate and find a willing listener. A "how are you" gets a muffled "fine" when really the true answer may be, "My boss yelled at me and it's the 5th time this week and I think I may lose my job, and I honest to goodness have nowhere to go and I'm constantly in pain but I'm afraid to tell my boss because maybe he'll think I'm even less reliable and- and- and- and..." It's hard to keep conversations at a superficial, positive level when you're carrying around all these concerns and questions and secrets. Life demands a certain amount of A-O-K.
So, I just wanted to communicate, in a palatable-funny-entertaining way, what it's like for a person who feels disenfranchised. Because it's next to impossible to be charming AND desperate. So now that I'm not desperate, I'll tell the story as best I can, in an A-O-K way.
Both the emails I got this morning asked, "Why did I do this?"
I credit Aislinn my director (then dramaturg) a lot with pushing me to get into the meatier stuff. My original intention was just to do something close to a weight loss seminar. ("Weight loss", I think, has been cut down to 2 paragraphs in this show?)
The real answer is that I felt I was living a lie and it was a "coming out" play. Trying to pass off as "normal" as opposed to truly being comfortable. I transformed physically so much that people would see me and not recognize me. (Which was weird.) And everyone started treating me better because I looked better- particularity guys. (Which was also weird.) I had a lot of anger for a long time. Despite "fitting in" I still felt separate because of my experiences. And felt that if people knew the truth, they may not be as nice. So here I am: here's a picture of me looking super ugly. Here's the fact that I had OCD, here are the experiences that make me less likely to be happy-go-lucky and blindly trust those around me.
And how liberating to know that people treat me the same, and on MY end, just way more confidence in feeling like I have nothing to hide. On top of that, there's the people that the play "speaks to." I know when I was going through my own changes, this play would have helped me so much.
By the nature of "disenfranchised" it's only going to truly speak to a small number of people- not a huge general audience. I just hope that a good cross section of people see it and just get a glimpse of the POV.
Hell, I just hope people come, because there's a lot of empty seats!
And speaking of which, I'm off to the Annex to do some carding and promo!
Or,
"This show was okay, this one I messed up a line..."
But perhaps I can use this as a place to respond to some of the questions that come up- from reviewers, or from people who watched the show. (I woke up to appreciative emails from strangers!)
"Over-Sharing": Even the EYE, which gave me a good review, used the term, saying the show "Makes over-sharing seem like a great idea." Can I just say... I left a lot of awkward details out! I realize what I put in is a bit-wow- but I was careful to make sure that it was integral to the story. I dunno- the question remains- do I have more garbage than the average person, or am I just over-willing to talk about some things? I don't know!
I think "sharing" is an issue with many disenfranchised people, and what causes a lot of social awkwardness- a vicious cycle. The people who come to my show know what they're in for, and also are free to walk away loving it or hating it.
But for someone in the thick of it, it's socially difficult to communicate and find a willing listener. A "how are you" gets a muffled "fine" when really the true answer may be, "My boss yelled at me and it's the 5th time this week and I think I may lose my job, and I honest to goodness have nowhere to go and I'm constantly in pain but I'm afraid to tell my boss because maybe he'll think I'm even less reliable and- and- and- and..." It's hard to keep conversations at a superficial, positive level when you're carrying around all these concerns and questions and secrets. Life demands a certain amount of A-O-K.
So, I just wanted to communicate, in a palatable-funny-entertaining way, what it's like for a person who feels disenfranchised. Because it's next to impossible to be charming AND desperate. So now that I'm not desperate, I'll tell the story as best I can, in an A-O-K way.
Both the emails I got this morning asked, "Why did I do this?"
I credit Aislinn my director (then dramaturg) a lot with pushing me to get into the meatier stuff. My original intention was just to do something close to a weight loss seminar. ("Weight loss", I think, has been cut down to 2 paragraphs in this show?)
The real answer is that I felt I was living a lie and it was a "coming out" play. Trying to pass off as "normal" as opposed to truly being comfortable. I transformed physically so much that people would see me and not recognize me. (Which was weird.) And everyone started treating me better because I looked better- particularity guys. (Which was also weird.) I had a lot of anger for a long time. Despite "fitting in" I still felt separate because of my experiences. And felt that if people knew the truth, they may not be as nice. So here I am: here's a picture of me looking super ugly. Here's the fact that I had OCD, here are the experiences that make me less likely to be happy-go-lucky and blindly trust those around me.
And how liberating to know that people treat me the same, and on MY end, just way more confidence in feeling like I have nothing to hide. On top of that, there's the people that the play "speaks to." I know when I was going through my own changes, this play would have helped me so much.
By the nature of "disenfranchised" it's only going to truly speak to a small number of people- not a huge general audience. I just hope that a good cross section of people see it and just get a glimpse of the POV.
Hell, I just hope people come, because there's a lot of empty seats!
And speaking of which, I'm off to the Annex to do some carding and promo!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
I did a show??? !!!
My play is officially opened! Oh my goodness it's so tough when people come from so far, say, Ottawa (thanks sis!) and you're too zonked to make proper conversation. I'm so dumb I actually did ANOTHER show afterwards over at the Bad Dog Theatre last night. It was a lot. I was sleepy.
Anyways... THE SHOW!
I was imagining a full house (positive thinking?) but it was sparse. Most noticed when people didn't clap between scenes or after songs. The crowd was just missing that key initiator to get the ball rolling on that one. But it made me feel more casual as well, which may have helped.
I'm getting positive feedback on my singing, which is a surprise. I was worried anyways, and then with the cold... I was chugging day-quil before I stepped onstage. I guess they weren't expecting me to be able to sing at all?
I AM REFRESHING BROWSERS LIKE- A- CRAZEEE! I have one review so far- this guy GOT IT. There is no confusion at all: He saw exactly what I was going for and pointed out a couple things that I hadn't thought about concretely- but were also true. You can read it here:
http://www.willoneill.com/2010/07/review-amy-zuchs-key-to-key/
But the NOW and EYE remain question marks...
Rodrigo came to the show- he's my friend from Animation School, the voice of Brisco the Lobster, and VERY CRITICAL. He was the first person I ever heard criticize Pixar... But he liked it. Rodrigo approved.
I have the day off Key to Key wise. I should promote but I want to take care of this cold too. Haven't had even one beer at the Fringe Tent. :(
Anyways, pardon me while I refresh the browser again...
Anyways... THE SHOW!
I was imagining a full house (positive thinking?) but it was sparse. Most noticed when people didn't clap between scenes or after songs. The crowd was just missing that key initiator to get the ball rolling on that one. But it made me feel more casual as well, which may have helped.
I'm getting positive feedback on my singing, which is a surprise. I was worried anyways, and then with the cold... I was chugging day-quil before I stepped onstage. I guess they weren't expecting me to be able to sing at all?
I AM REFRESHING BROWSERS LIKE- A- CRAZEEE! I have one review so far- this guy GOT IT. There is no confusion at all: He saw exactly what I was going for and pointed out a couple things that I hadn't thought about concretely- but were also true. You can read it here:
http://www.willoneill.com/2010/07/review-amy-zuchs-key-to-key/
But the NOW and EYE remain question marks...
Rodrigo came to the show- he's my friend from Animation School, the voice of Brisco the Lobster, and VERY CRITICAL. He was the first person I ever heard criticize Pixar... But he liked it. Rodrigo approved.
I have the day off Key to Key wise. I should promote but I want to take care of this cold too. Haven't had even one beer at the Fringe Tent. :(
Anyways, pardon me while I refresh the browser again...
Friday, July 2, 2010
Opening Day!
Ahem.
I woke up yesterday with a sore throat... and after last night, it's confirmed. I have a cold.
I won't even elaborate on that subject because I think that ignoring it may make it feel unwelcome. It's just the starts of a cold... anyways...
TODAY'S THE DAY!
We did 2 runs yesterday and the cues were close to perfect in both. My first run was bad (it was dawning on me- "Oh, I'm sick" and I got pretty down about it), but the second one was great! If the show goes like that today, I'll be very happy.
I may be on the CBC this morning? I don't know! The show is Metro Morning and started at 5:30, so I just throw my hands up and hope someone will notify me or link me if they hear anything. It's a 5 minute piece, more so about me than the show... though my choice to make the show is a focus of the piece. Exciting!
I dunno, like I hope people come! It was so much work! Not just for me, but for Aislinn my director, who will now be onstage with me running the projector, and for Abigail, my stage manager, who invested the time to learn stage managing from scratch. Shame that there are only 7 shows.
I fear the reviewers! My friends got SLAMMED and they're really talented, so I guess anyone is at the mercy of the review.
Anyways, still lots to to. I can't post on Facebook today because I lent my good computer out to Abigail, so I'll say,
"Amy is excited- Key to Key! 3:30- Come!!"
I woke up yesterday with a sore throat... and after last night, it's confirmed. I have a cold.
I won't even elaborate on that subject because I think that ignoring it may make it feel unwelcome. It's just the starts of a cold... anyways...
TODAY'S THE DAY!
We did 2 runs yesterday and the cues were close to perfect in both. My first run was bad (it was dawning on me- "Oh, I'm sick" and I got pretty down about it), but the second one was great! If the show goes like that today, I'll be very happy.
I may be on the CBC this morning? I don't know! The show is Metro Morning and started at 5:30, so I just throw my hands up and hope someone will notify me or link me if they hear anything. It's a 5 minute piece, more so about me than the show... though my choice to make the show is a focus of the piece. Exciting!
I dunno, like I hope people come! It was so much work! Not just for me, but for Aislinn my director, who will now be onstage with me running the projector, and for Abigail, my stage manager, who invested the time to learn stage managing from scratch. Shame that there are only 7 shows.
I fear the reviewers! My friends got SLAMMED and they're really talented, so I guess anyone is at the mercy of the review.
Anyways, still lots to to. I can't post on Facebook today because I lent my good computer out to Abigail, so I'll say,
"Amy is excited- Key to Key! 3:30- Come!!"
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Banned from Rehearsal!
Yes, we're rehearsing all Canada Day...
...But I'm ordered to stay home and work my performance while they sort out this cue stuff. Tech day went smoothly in some ways, but very rough in others. It's just not a lot of time with the tech equipment and the play is ambitious. We were very happy to discover that our Fringe tech operators are really good. Like, known across the land to be GOOD. We've lucked out once again.
Anyways, at 1pm tomorrow I am to be reunited with TEAM MEDIA where we will become a 4d adventure and do another run. It is true, it's impossible for me to focus on performance when cue convos are going on. But there's lots of beats and steps and mannerisms I'd like to concentrate on and finesse.
Now- bed. I am not treating myself very well unfortunately and I'm supposed to be at this point.
...But I'm ordered to stay home and work my performance while they sort out this cue stuff. Tech day went smoothly in some ways, but very rough in others. It's just not a lot of time with the tech equipment and the play is ambitious. We were very happy to discover that our Fringe tech operators are really good. Like, known across the land to be GOOD. We've lucked out once again.
Anyways, at 1pm tomorrow I am to be reunited with TEAM MEDIA where we will become a 4d adventure and do another run. It is true, it's impossible for me to focus on performance when cue convos are going on. But there's lots of beats and steps and mannerisms I'd like to concentrate on and finesse.
Now- bed. I am not treating myself very well unfortunately and I'm supposed to be at this point.
TECH DAY!
We move in to our venue today at 11am- hoo boy! This is the start of me feeling like, "I finished making the cues... you run em.... so I can ACT!" That's the positive. The negative is the terror... oh my god these cues better work, this tech better be amazing, I hope we have not, truly, bitten off too much!
Yesterday involved some serious prep- dough laid out at the mac store and Steve's music. Then planning, list making, car packing. I think they want people to be prepared, so they are firm and give a lot of warnings... but to someone like me who's already cautious... IT'S TERRIFYING!
Also terrifying: I have friends in other shows that are opening today! I don't open until Friday. The thought of opening today is... TERRIFYING!!
Yesterday involved some serious prep- dough laid out at the mac store and Steve's music. Then planning, list making, car packing. I think they want people to be prepared, so they are firm and give a lot of warnings... but to someone like me who's already cautious... IT'S TERRIFYING!
Also terrifying: I have friends in other shows that are opening today! I don't open until Friday. The thought of opening today is... TERRIFYING!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Guests!
Today we had our first rehearsal with "outside eyes." And our first attempt at a full media run through. The media was rocky... and I was TIRED. Not stressed- because we've crossed that line of "worst case scenario, there will be something up and it will work." But tired, as in "this could be better- I'll stay up one more hour."
But I pulled through. I can't imagine I'll get more fatigued than this during the run, so it's good to know I can get through it in terrible conditions.
Get through it... but not dazzle in any way.
Our media just needs better burning, and practice with cues.
Tech day is Wednesday morning. This is the scariest. Tech- and the challenge of doing setup/teardown in 15 minutes.
Yesterday I put off part of a family event so that I could rehearse. I found out the event had kittens! Newborn kittens! Oh- this- play >:(
But I pulled through. I can't imagine I'll get more fatigued than this during the run, so it's good to know I can get through it in terrible conditions.
Get through it... but not dazzle in any way.
Our media just needs better burning, and practice with cues.
Tech day is Wednesday morning. This is the scariest. Tech- and the challenge of doing setup/teardown in 15 minutes.
Yesterday I put off part of a family event so that I could rehearse. I found out the event had kittens! Newborn kittens! Oh- this- play >:(
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